I just came back from a prayer session for Shu Zanne. The prayers are to last for 7 days. The funeral is tomorrow, which I couldn't attend because of work. Mom told me about her obituary which appeared in The Star newspaper today. She smiled beautifully in the picture. And that is the way I will always remember her.
It was hard being at the prayer session. Really hard as I tried to hold back my tears. I didn't want to cry....not in front of so many people and especially God Mom and family. I know for sure, a tear would cause a chain reaction, so I tried to minimise anything that would bring up the pain any further.
As I approached the casket, I found it hard to look into it closely. I stood at a distant and saw that familiar face. Kat, who was beside me whispered, "That's so not her...". Yes, she looked different. Some people may think she looked ugly. But to me, she was still so beautiful. And she will forever be beautiful.
I write this entry with a heavy heart, as with the entry before this. Every moment of it were coupled with tears. I regret I couldn't tell much about her life's story. I wish I could. I really do.
Ng Shu Zanne (1983-2008) Rest in Peace.
I will remember you, the beautiful you, until the day we meet again.
After a long absence from blogging, here I am again. Nothing worth mentioning for months until now. I just feel the need to write this entry. This may be my last entry for a long time until I feel the need to post again.
I write this with a heavy heart because I just lost someone I was never close with but it's a lost I feel deep down in my heart. It's been a long time I haven't felt this amount of pain and sadness. I am truly broken.
Last Sunday was nothing unusual. After a hectic Friday and Saturday, I was looking forward to relax. I lived it the way I wanted to, stayed at home and gamed. After dinner, I went home and that was when my dad broke the news to me. I couldn't believe what I heard. My dad's words echoed in my head, it was all so sudden. I didn't say a word. Only after I bathed and sat in front of the comp, I broke down.
Our families had been so close together for so many years. We pratically grew up together seeing each other every now and then. Her mom is my God Mom, I don't know if that makes us God Sisters as well. I could never really break the ice between us, although she could speak to just about everyone but I kept my distance...I do not know why. She had qualities I wish I had half of them. She would be the one starting conversations when our families sat down for dinner. She makes people laugh. And I can truly say that she's the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life. So beautiful, so witty, so smart and just so brilliant. So very very brilliant. I admired her.
On that fateful morning, she just finished drinking in a mamak in Penang. As she walked with her boyfriend by the side of the road, a car came from the back and rammed into her. She was flung, the back of her head smashed on the car's windscreen. The car ran away. She died just a few hours later. The woman driver owned up soon after, but the driver claimed she was crossing the road when she got hit. Fucking liar. Eye witnesses insisted she wasn't crossing the road, she was walking by the roadside. Just thinking about this pisses me off. It happened so just admit it. I hope she lives with this guilt for the rest of her life. Or be put into jail for a long long time. No amount of lies could cover up the fact that she's gone.
Perhaps God loves her so much more that He had to call her home so early. I hope she is living a better life up there with Him. May she rest in peace.
Imprisoned for 10 thousand years. Banished from my own homeland. And now you dare enter my realm. You are not prepared......You are not prepared!! - Illidan Stormrage
Ok...so I'm just a little bored right now...ho hum. The first trailer shows the different races and classes in the World of Warcraft online for both factions. The second shows the 2 new races available in The Burning Crusade expansion.
Look at the abrasion on my palm! It freakin' hurts! Well, at least it does when I touch it.. What caused it?? . . . . . . My own killer-pinky! This only happens during exams...that's when I write the most =/ Note to self: Cut fingernails before sitting for exams in the future.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I had the worst papers in my life! I am SO gonna FAIL it! I have no idea what I was writing. It's all so theory based, which makes it hard for me to crap my way through. The stuff that I read did not come out! OHhhhh WhhYYyyyyy?!?!?! I've never been a study type, having failed several subjects in high school but...but....that was in high school! To fail again in uni....................it sucks...
Seriously never been so clueless all my life. Welcome to supp paperland...
It's the 3rd time this week that I'm having a really bad headache. I feel nauseated and dizzy every now and then. Felt so bad to leave the girls to show the storyboard to Mr.Beh. Sorry ler... =( Was supposed to be my job. But I'm glad I decided to leave early cos the headache is killing me. Weather? or just fatigue? I have no idea. Anyone got good headache remedies then lemme know...
I just read a couple of blogs earlier. Then I saw Aza's fangirl entry which previously I've never bothered to read. So I've decided to read this time to try to understand why is she such a fanatical boyband fan....So I read... But I have no idea what the entry was about....at all! I guess cos I don't know anything bout the things she's talking about. =/
Anyway, she reminds me of how I used to go hyper with Ayumi Hamasaki. I'm still a big fan! Just that I can't afford to fangirl like Aza hahaha..I wish I could, I'll be buying calendars and photobooks, too. Demo....takai ne... @_@"
Day by Day... More and More... I am getting so annoyed!
I am getting so annoyed at someone! And that someone is a friend! I feel so bad but I can't help it... I hope to wake up tomorrow without this feeling.. When I see you, I hope I won't feel that way..
Why am I like this?? I hate to do this to anyone.. Especially to a friend.. Especially to a really nice friend... Because I will hate it if it happens to me instead..
Today as Aza, Meng Yi and I were walking to Aza's car, we saw this... on the road...near Utar's PA block...
Aza: Eyerrr *shifted away awkwardly* M.Y: Yerrrr Me: Ar? ( I thought "meh si?")
I thought it was an old discarded bicycle tyre...but then...upon closer inspection... It was a friggin' dead snake! It wasn't small! Maybe a little short of a metre?!? Check out the tyre marks......ewww! Now I can tell people my uni had snake problem...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Then we had lunch at Old Town Kopitiam ( I had RM3 with me today =/ forgot to reload wallet)
I had... Perfecto! Just the way I like it~
and...shared with Aza this... I purposely opened it up to show their kiam-ness (stingy-ness)...butter very expensive ar? Toasts not even warm enough to melt the butter....cheeee...fail!
M.Y had this..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It rained at night last night. It's been ages since it rained at night. Been a long long time since I've had such a good sleep...yet I still have to wake up for classes in the morning...
It's raining again right now....yet I still have to wake up for classes in the morning...
Today I had a conversation with Aza, we were talking bout Music Station Super Live 2006. An annual concert by Music Station in Japan which features over 40 artists (43 artists for 2006). The performing artists are all the best selling artists for the year.
Then I remembered this...one of the acts that appeared...
OMG! This kind of thing is what makes me a lil embarrassed to be known as a J-Music fan sometimes. To think they made it big enough to appear on the show....
Tarako = Cod roe They started from a food company commercial, a Jap pasta dish with tarako sauce.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My goldfish died this morning. I gave it a proper burial and sent it off through the toilet flush. This goldfish had been around for a pretty long time....it's even older than Ashton, who is 9 months old! Now all I have left are the "Angel" fishes...they refuse to die! I'm waiting for them to die so I can rare other fishes. Put any other fishes in there and they'll bully 'em to death. They've been around for as long as the goldfish. They are evil I tell you!
I just call them Evil no.1 and Evil no.2
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This was what we did for Intro to Ad tutorial today. A simple task of choosing a PSA title from the whiteboard and design it.
So we chose Aids Awareness. Rationale is, you can mingle around with the opposite sex and there are other ways to show that you care for them, instead of engaging in sexual activities. So this is a crappy job done in 20min with no proper tools...
Then Meng Yi said she sometimes gets confused with the symbols. Which is male, which is female? So I taught her this....(I brainstormed this out within seconds) Female: The 2 circled areas, upper position = breasts Male: The circled area, lower position = balls and rod
This is sad. I'm currently stuck in uni, waiting for my ride home. The point is..... this is how I'm able to find some time(off) to make an entry.
I'm developing a really bad headache while typing this right now. I can't go anywhere to lie down, can I? So I'll just sit here and post an entry with this annoyingly sluggish connection...that is if this entry will even register when I hit the enter key later. And they bloody switched off the aircond!! Wuahhh....show a lil more T.L.C towards the students la......crap...
I'm so disappointed today. I can see it now, that my inability to manage my time properly will be the death of me.
I screwed up my BC midterm paper!!! T_T I focused too much on a certain section OR I spent too much time thinking how should I do the paper. Luckily this is just 10%, I need to reorganize myself so that this wouldn't happen when I sit for the main paper. Arrrghhhh! I could use a lot more practice with this script writing thing+shot composition...this is gonna hurt my grades..
How many times already that I screwed up midterms?? A lot of times!
I have so many things to write but I couldn't find time amidst all my other activities. SO MANY THINGS! and most of them I've already forgotten the details already....it's all a blur. Ahhhh I'm such a mess! It's either gaming, assignments, classes, gaming, catching up on movies/animes/ tv series, yumcha, shopping, assignments, classes, gaming....and the recent CNY ruckus. I lack sleep and I get all pissed up if I can't make full use of my time doing all the things I wanna do. <<< note "I WANNA DO"
Just post this cos I wanna scream....badly. BLOODY ASSCRACK LECTURER! <insert racism remark> I hope he burns in hell...
Right now I gotta go study a lil for my midterms. After midterms I have assignments to bother with...dammit. I feel damn emo now...damn emo!
Concrete jungle has a new meaning the way I see it from what happened in uni earlier.
I have no idea how those people qualified to be accepted in a uni with that sort of English. Anyway, bad English is tolerable and one can just practice more to improve but with that kind of fucking attitude some of the students showed, I think uni standards is going to the dumps. This is a u-n-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y, why izzit every tom, dick and ah lians get to come in??
What is happening? Why the new batch of BC students (Y1 S1) just acts like a bunch of cave trolls? Where the hell did they come from? Just asking them to shift to the inner spots and they acted like we told them to sell their ass. "Wah, 5 people ar? Move mai move loh" Open your eyes, you lala bitch. If the class was not lacking spaces, I wouldn't even go anywhere close to you and your kin. I'm afraid my IQ will -20 by the time the class is over. They spoke throughout the class with no respect for the lecturer and fellow students. It's only natural that someone will stand out to tell them off, and that person today was Jo. Then the guys at the back were typical ah bengs going "Wooooooo *clap*clap*". You ain't cool and I pity your wife if you ever get one.
Line of the day, courtesy of Ah Lian of the day: *after class was dismissed* "So, can we talking now?"
Oh wow, you amazed me. Your sarcastic attempt at "redeeming" what's left of your pride just failed so miserably.
I see monkeys......they are everywhere spreading stupidity.
Finally, I've time to update here. Ironically, I face the comp everyday for a good few hours but I'm only updating now because I'm not on my comp. Why??? People who knows me will be screaming "WoW!" in their heads by now. I'm right now on an uber duper slowwww comp in my Dad's office. T_T
---------------------------------------------------------- Here's the old list! Things to do during the holidays:- 1. Travel 2. Finish the book, Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince 3. Catch up on Bleach 4. Finish Ouran Highschool Host Club 5. Get that long awaited new phone Getting it any day now! <3 6. Christmas shopping 7. Clubbing I still can't stand clubbing @@" 8. Catch up with my super friends
I went PD 2 weeks ago with cousins! We caught crablets (those lil crabs on the beach) and 2 puffer fishies XD! One actually blew up into a balloon when we tried to put it back into the water! Will try to get the pics from them.
Christmas issa comin'! Christmas issa comin'! XD Money no enough sia....
Proper update will have to wait. Now I gotta go pack for my HK trip! Then SG trip! Muahahahahahaha!!!
The baby fell sick this morning for the first time since he was born. It's a bad case of food poisoning, or so it seems. I didn't understand how it came about since he's only drinking the same milk everyday. Well, the doc said it's a virus which is able to infect the people around him.
Mom and Dad came back yesterday evening and bro also brought Ashton back to our place yesterday. He was fine all the while until this morning when he woke up and started throwing up and perching. It did not get better in the afternoon when he continued to throw up and perch. Yet, he was still able to smile and laugh when we teased him. Just that he wasn't really in the mood to play. He even stopped sucking his fingers. =(
Sis-in-law and bro were obviously upset and worried. The doc gave Ashton a lactose free soya milk which he has yet to accept it. He refused to drink it and rather have salt water than the soya milk. He's drained and went to bed without a full tum.
I just hope he'll feel better tomorrow. It's upsetting to see him go through this.
WOotz! After a long absence I've decided to login before I forget my password =D ~!
Mom and Dad won't be around for a week! Means I got the house to myself! Time to invite the guys peeps for some lepak session just to catch up on how things are going with them. I've been so cut out of any updates with them ever since I quit RO. The game is still alive! Oh...not that I care anyway.
This sem break was getting kinda stale just after a month of it, I've still got 2 months to go! Yet I still keep in mind that this may be my last long holiday that I don't have to do anything at all, except sleep, eat, game, game, game and er...other stuff. I don't regret not taking up a part time job for the 3 months break, I gotta enjoy my freedom before I finish my studies. Got my whole life ahead to work aye!
I'm going to HK and possibly SG when December comes~~!! To Jo & Aza, not that I wanna FFK u girls but....this trip is gonna be paid by my parents only -IF- I go with my cousins and family. I still gotta fork out my own spending money there T_T...clothes, shoes, souvenirs, clothes, clothes, CDs, trinkets, gadgets, toys, clothes...
Death Note the movie is looking good! I mean the guy is....not bad XD. I think he plays Light or something...Can't wait to catch it soon!
Things to do during the holidays:- 1. Travel 2. Finish the book, Harry Potter: The Half Blood PrinceFinally! 3. Catch up on Bleach 4. Finish Ouran Highschool Host ClubSobs! More more! 5. Get that long awaited new phone 6. Christmas shopping 7. Clubbing 8. Catch up with my super friends
Wheeeee! Decided to pull myself away from everything else to pen(key?) a quick one here. I know I haven't been updating much, so before someone think something horrible happened to me like er...disappeared, abducted or died...Well, here's an entry!
It's time to rot my brains out with countless hours of gaming, yumcha-ing, movie-ing, baby-sitting, catching-upping, sleeping and plain loitering for 3 months! That's right, 3 whole months of sem break. I think I'm going mad...as much as I welcome a break from studying, but I seriously think 3 months will be a crawl to get over. But then again, after this break is over, I will be yearning for breaks again.......don't we all?
I have no idea what's happening to the others. Travel plans???? As far as I know HK plans were abandoned or something. Then are we not going anywhere???!?!?! Help please! I need to shop! We need to shop! No shop No life!!
After 4 years of playing Ragnarok Online, I have finally quitted the game! The only reasons why I stayed playing so long were the bunch of friends I knew from the game and my duties to the guild. I've always thought I could last until Simon (my guild master) quits but I've grown so tired of the game. The hard part was leaving the people I've grown so fond off but from sprites to skins, they will remain my friends even beyond the game.
----------------------------------------------------------------------- Steve Irwin died! T________T I've watched so many episodes of his shows. I've always admired his work and compassion for animals. At least he died doing the things he loved. He will be remembered...God Bless.
You wake at ungodly hours Bringing the house down with your cries Sometimes I wish I could shut you up But then I can't bring myself to hate you
Mom wants to be harsh But she could never do so Because everytime you smile She thank God for blessing her with a wonderful life
Dad never slacked when it comes to making you happy Doing everything just to make life easy for you I see the side of him that I've never seen before All praises are thrown, never a frown
Sis calls home more often just so she could hear you She buys things you couldn't use Just because it'll look cute on you Then she wonders what to get for you next month
Bro is a changed man Sis-in-law could hardly get enough of you Both staying by your side Just watching you sleep as time passes by
I see the side of myself that I didn't know I had Temper soars, patience runs high Stopping on the track just for you At the end of the day, I know why it's worth it
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chrisjmusic's journal
crushed.
bored.
sick.
frustrated.
exhausted.
calm.
gloomy.
pissed off.
cheerful.
worried.
giggly.
grateful.
